. 'God and his conversation with St. Francis. FUNNY and true!GOD:Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.St. FRANCIS:It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.GOD:Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?ST. FRANCIS:Apparently so,. Unfortunately, Ashley was not what I would call subtle. Not a big deal - unless you are not subtle enough around your mother-in-law and she decides to put a stop to all of that... which she did, until last year. I have been playing on the same volleyball team for years, and last year one of the girls on our team decided that she would like to take some time away from volleyball. This left us down a player, and I asked my sister-in-law if she would like to play. My team does really well most of the time, however our main goal at volleyball is to drink and have fun. The first couple of weeks were pretty much normal . She was just another volleyball player on our team. She would have a couple of drinks and play volleyball and go home. On the third week things changed. I was buying drinks and shots for the whole team. It was obvious that Ashley had too much to drink, and I wasn’t about to let her drive home that way. Unfortunately, the bar at the courts closed before she was ready to.
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